The First Woman Dad Ever Slept With
And I remember once, we was out the front, me and Dad - one summer's evening it was. And Dad was all togged up. Leaning over the wall like, y'know. The old vicar comes down.
“Allo, my son. All togged up tonight - no allotment then? That's not like you….”
“No, no. I'll tell you something, Vicar. I'm going to meet the first woman I ever slept with.”
Course, with that - not another word! He just went indoors to put a bit a grease on his hair.
Ready to go up and meet his mother!
I don't think he ever told the old vicar. No. He was a bit of a case at times was Dad.
Like when Queen, that was one of me younger sisters, we always called her Queen as I just told you earlier on. She brought a young man home for the first time. Everything was on the table, bread and Jam for tea that night I expect, and cream cakes I remember - cream cakes, oh ah. Oh, Mam had it all laid out like, she looked round and she said
“Ooh, not enough chairs Dad, Would you go and see if you can find another chair from somewhere.”
“I don't know, Mother, I think there's plenty of chairs, there's too many damn people, that's the trouble!”
Course, Queen went upstairs, howling her head off. Not Leonard, Leonard didn't care, Leonard stopped and had his tea, and he finished up Queen's what she didn't eat anyhow!
